Thursday, December 18, 2008

HINDUS can mug nething!!!

A MAN reciting hanuman chalisa, his 3 year old kid interrupts, "dad what does it mean"...
The father befudled, falling short of words answers, "beta its hanuman chalisa... nd its supposed to b like this... its gt no specific meaning... its supposed be said like this"
I happen to overhear and my thoughts were like...
WOW!!!!!!!
What a REVELATION.... a man whose is nearly 35 yrs old... has been reciting this spiritual POEM in a hope that probably GOD will be so damn happy by this exercise of uselessly repeating those verses everyday!!!
What a futile attempt man... n m sure 90 percent of those who proudly repeat the very holy poems and songs everyday, do it as an exercise to please some GOD of their choice without even knowing the meaning of their useless blabbering and also the very purpose of their(the poems, verses) creation.
For GOD's sake they have NOT been created so that u can chant them everyday n some one will listen to them n make u happy...
No dudes(and dudettes also for that matter)!!!
All these creations HAVE a purpose... if i gt into a philosophical discussion i would exhaust pages n pages over it n m sure most of u r TOOOOOOOO INTELLIGENT to understand it... but in short all i cn say is that all of them are made up of beautiful words and they have such meanings attached to them, that understanding them and repeating them with concentration, knowing every word of what u r saying, calms ur senses and brings peace to ur mind and soul...
A few words like RAM n OM are supposed to wake each nerve of ur body nd its all biology... google if u don't believe this... its nt like someone is listening to u n if u LAMELY recite all this some miracle would happen by mere recitation n ur world will change...
FOR once GROW UP n realise that of course there is GOD, there is destiny, BUT, BUT, BUT, this literature is not a short cut to gt ur way through... understand it and use it the way it is supposed to be...
people of very high INTELLECT and advanced KNOWLEDGE(scientifically as well) have created them... ofcourse not to be used as lamely as most of us do...
understand them n u'll see just by mere understanding of those lines can make u feel positive n thus make things better for you... they are not created for God people... they are created for YOU!!!
Of course i can't narrate all hindu literature in this space, but i'm sure, most of u chant hanuman chalisa once in a while... so m putting a very crisp meaning of it across...

sri guru carana saroj raja nija mana mukura sudhar,
varanaun raghuvara vimala yasa, yo dayaka phala chara
"Having cleaned the mirror of my mind with the dust from the lotus feet of my Guru, I sing the pure glories of Lord Ramachandra, who bestows the four fruits of life: religion, wealth, pleasure and liberation."

buddhina tanu janike sumiraun pavana kumara,
bala buddhi vidya dehu mohin, harau klesa vikara

"As I know I am an ignorant fool, I meditate on the Son of Wind, Hanuman, and pray him to give me strength, wisdom and knowledge, purifying me from all defects and bad things."

jaya hanumana jnana guna sagara, jaya kapisa tihun loka ujagara,
rama duta atulita bala dhama, anjani putra pavana suta nama

"Glory to Hanuman, ocean of knowledge and good qualities. Glory to the lord of the Vanaras. His fame echoes through the three worlds. Glory to the divine messenger and servant of Sri Rama! He is known as Pavana Suta, son of the Wind and Mother Anjana, and his prowess is invincible."

mahavira vikrama bajarangi kumati nivara sumati ke sangi,
kanchana varana viraja suvesa, kanana kundala kunchita kesa

"O Hanuman, you have unlimited courage and strength, you destroy ignorance and grant wisdom. Your complexion is golden, your hair is curly and you wear ear-rings."

hatha bajur aru dhvaja virajai, kandhe munja janeu sajai,
sankara suvana kesari nandana, tej pratapa maha jaga vandana
"In one hand you hold the divine Vajra weapon, in the other you have the flag with your emblem. Your shoulder is decorated with the holy thread. You are the son of Lord Shiva and Mother Keshari. Your great prowess is famous all over the world."

vidyavan guni ati chatur, rama kaja karive ko atur,
prabhu charitra sunive ko rasiya, rama lakshmana sita mana basiya
"You have the greatest wealth of divine knowledge. You are virtuous and intelligent, always ready to serve Lord Rama, and your greatest pleasure is listening to His glories. Rama, Laksmana and Sita always reside in your heart."

suksma rupa dhari siyahin dikhava, vikata rupa dhari lanka jarava,
bhima rupa dhari asura sanhare, ramachandra ke kaja sanvare
"You appeared before Sita in a very small form, but you burned Lanka with a terrifying form and a killed the demons with a gigantic form. In this way you always serve Lord Rama."

lae sanjivana lakhan jiyaye sri raghuvira harshi ura laye,
raghupati kinhi bahuta badai, tum mama priya bharatai sama bhai
"You brought the medicinal herb to revive Lakshmana, and overcome with joy Rama embraced you and glorified you, saying that He loves you as much as He loves His own brother Bharata."

sahasa vadana tumharo yasa gaven, asa kahi sripati kantha lagaven,
sanakadika brahmadi munisa narada sarada sahita ahisa
"Sesanaga with his thousands mouths is singing your glories: with these words, Rama embraced you. Even the Kumaras, Narada, Sarasvati cannot complete describe your glories."

yama kuvera digapala jahante kavi kovida kahi saken kahante,
tuma upakara sugrivahin kinha rama milaya raja pada dinha
"Even Yama, Kuvera, the lords of the directions, poets and sages are incapable of fully describing your glories. You introduced Rama to Sugriva, causing him to become the king of the Vanaras."

tumharo mantra vibhisana mana lankesvara bhae saba jaga jana,
yuga sahasra yojana para bhanu, lilyo tahi madhura phala janun
"By following your advice, Vibhisana became the king of Lanka: everyone knows this. You grabbed the sun, millions of kilometers away in the sky, taking it for a ripe fruit."

prabhu mudrika meli mukha mahin jaldi landi gaye acaraja nahin,
durgama kaja jagata ke jete, sugama anugraha tumhare te te
"You crossed the ocean keeping Rama's ring in your mouth as a token for Sita. You could perform such a miraculous task because with your grace even impossible tasks become possible and even easy."

rama duare tuma rakhavere hot na ajna vinu paisare,
saba sukha lahai tumhari sarana, tuma raksaka kahu ko darana
"You always guard the door of Sri Rama, and without your permission no one can enter. By taking shelter in you, all the joys of life are obtained, and one under your protection has nothing to fear."

apana teja samharo ape tinon loka hankate kanpe,
bhuta pisacha nikata nahin ave, mahavira japa nama sunave
"Your radiance is supreme, and the three worlds tremble when you move. You are the supreme brahmachari, conserving your energy. By repeating the name of Hanuman, all the ghosts and demons are chased away."

nashai roga harai saba pira, japata nirantara hanumata vira,
sankata se hanumana churavai, mana rama vachana dhyana jo lavai
"All diseases and sufferings are destroyed by the constant repetition of the name of Hanuman. One who meditates on him with his mind, heart and activities is saved from all difficulties."

saba para rama tapasvi raja tina ke kaja sakala tuma saja,
aur manoratha jo koi lavai soy amita jivana phala pavain
"Rama is the Lord of yoga, and all your actions are dedicated to Him. By your grace, all desires are granted."

charon yuga paratapa tumhara, hai parasiddhi jagata uyjiara,
sadhu santa ke tum rakhavare, asura nikandana rama dulare
"In all times, you are famous for your prowess and talents, your glories are spread all over the universe. You protect the devotees and the sages, you destroy the demons, and you are Rama's beloved."

asta siddhi nava nidhi ke data, asa vara dina janaki mata,
rama rasayana tumhare pasa, sada raho raghupati ke dasa
"Mother Sita blessed you with the power to grant the eight spiritual perfections and the nine material prosperities, and Sri Rama gave you the power to heal. You are always His humble servant."

tumhare bhajana rama ko pavai janma janma ke dukha visravai,
anta kale raghupati pura jay, jahan janmen hari bhakta kahai
"By meditating on you, one reaches Lord Rama, and eliminates the sufferings of many lifetimes. After death, your devotee will reach the abode of Rama, where he will always be a devotee of the Lord."

aur devata chitta na dharai, hanumata sei sarva sukha karai,
sankata harai mitai saba pira, jo sumire hanumata balavira
"The other Devas do not care for the sufferings of the human beings: only Hanuman is the source of all joys, and by remembering him all sufferings disappear."

jaya jaya jaya hanumana gosain, kripa karau gurudeva ki nain,
yah satavara patha kara jaya chhutahin band maha sukha hoy
"Victory and glory to lord Hanuman! O divine Guru, bless us with your grace. By repeating this mantra one hundred times, one is liberated by all problems and obtains unlimited happiness."

jo yaha parhai hanumana chalisa haya siddhi sakhi gaurisha,
tulasidasa sada harichera kije natha hridaya mahana dera
"One who repeats this song with the glories of lord Hanuman obtains all the spiritual perfections. Tulasidasa, the eternal servant of the Lord, gives this promise in the name of Mahadeva, the lord of Gauri. O lord, may you always reside in my heart."

pavanatanaya sankata harana mangala murti rupa,
rama laskmana sita sahita hridaya basahu sura bhupa
"O Son of the Wind, you destroy all difficulties. Your form is all auspicious, and you always reside in my heart together with Rama, Laksmana and Sita."

Tried to make it as crisp as possible... have definitely lost the philosophical content... i hope u guys will try to make sense through it!!!

(@Pulks - hey pulks i'm not an atheist... but m not a blind follower) :P

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

To know more about LUNG CANCER... keep SMOKING!!!!



i wonder what did he/she do to be punished so hard... i don think wid that cig in ur hand u think of it even once... keep smoking... it helps a lot of such innocent souls to die... keep it up!!!



Smoking definitely forces designers to come up with new designs... ofcourse the trousers with only one leg... or no legs probably!!!!



I definitely think the finger produces much more through keyboard... i wonder why do smokers prefer cigs...



U can do this to a paper as well... why try it on lungs!!!



For GOD's sake spare them... they have the right to live n breath



Go ahead n smoke it offff....


"Marzi hai aapki akhir, body hai aapki "

i know its important to have a blemish on smthing pretty... but not here please.... this part serves much better purposes...

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

AWESOME AD!!!!




"I can't follow you everywhere...!'



'Avoid using mobile phone while driving...'

Thursday, December 11, 2008

There are no unlockable doors
There are no unwinable wars
There are no unbeatable odds
There are no believable gods
There are no impossible dreams
One thing and you know its true,
Each night when the day is through
I dont ask much I just want you...

Monday, December 08, 2008

i soooo believe in these

"God made woman beautiful and foolish; beutiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him" -
Ofcourse, i believe in this cos I AM A FOOL... hehehehe.... nahi re m js a bit INSANE.

"The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs”
No No... hw d hell cud i compare the two species... m sorry doggies... won't do it again

"Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths.”
I noe... nvr apologised to any one... n nw i apologise for my strengths cos i feel weak with them.

"There are easier things in life than trying to find a nice guy...like nailing jelly to a tree"
or try ironing a dog's tail... u mite b abl to starighten it!!!

"Every woman needs one man in her life who is strong and responsible. Given this security, she can proceed to do what she really wants to do-fall in love with men who are weak and irresponsible.”
I SWEARRRR....

"There are two perfectly good men, one dead, and the other unborn”

"Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship."

"My attitude toward men who mess around is simple: If you find 'em, kill 'em."
i wish i could kill just one... just that one...

"A gentleman is simply a patient wolf. "
very very very gentle when patient and very very very wild when wolf!!!

"Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. "
Thank God m nt a fool nuff yet to marry...

"To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end."
Ain't gt nething to comment...

Here goes the best one
"A Woman can fake only orgasm... while a man can fake an entire relationship"
i was told this by someone while faking it all to me... ofcourse ofcourse m talkin of man yaar... no woman faked it to me, m still indian :P

Sunday, December 07, 2008

i have nothing to write of

have been sooooooo happy for d past 4 days... my love is back... ok for those who noe my story, don wory m nt talking of him, he is with his fiancee ofcourse, m talking of my nephew... ok so i was telling my love is back... yeah he is back and m so excited n elated... his mom, i mean my sis got me so many gifts... so many of 'em... m soooo happy... arrey m nt happy for gifts i swear... kasam se, m happy cos they have come back... hmmm so my sis, jiju n anay r bk after 7 mnths.... 7 mnths of complete freedom i had n i used 'em to max... n today wen i luk bk i thank GOD for giving that time to me but at the same time i regret, i wish i nvr had those 7 mths wid me... i try to erase 'em off my memory... darn d bloody memory.. i wish eternal sunshine of a spotless mind wasn't actually a fiction... would pay nething to have my memory washed by 1.5 yrs... ewwwww i hate writing serious stuff nw... will not... so if u r luking for anything sane there r over a million other blogs...
Okay, ve been thrilled for d past week, the entire week ws awsm, craved for smthng n gt it, then my sis cm bk, i keep playing wid anay all day long and enjoyed my weekend wid frns... ofcourse i got drunk... wot else do u think 'NJOY' means... tho i hd given up drinkin... my khadus doctor(i hope she ain't reading this... n if u r thn doc u r awsm, beautiful, funny, sweet n every damn thng)... ok so my khadus doc asked me nt to EVER drink again... but hu cares... as if its her system which m spoiling... waise i don drink a lot but yeah at times i don mind!!! haan so i was telling i njoyed my weekend...
N i just did baby sitting for 5 hrs... n guess wot... its beautiful... a kid ACTUALLY has a beautiful soul, v played, v ate, again played, danced, sang n nw he is sleeping soudly... God hw beautiful could one be...
i seriously don have anything to write... m too happy as wel as too broken to write anything... but i just wanted to write... cos my frns ve been complaining a lot... n m sure aftr reading my recent futile posts u guys will nvr complain again :P

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

ALL food n no alcohol n caffeine make JILL a dull girl...

ME: Who d hell is Jill???
ME: i don noe
ME: then y did u write about her...
ME: have dedicated so many words to myself... thot of dedicating sm to JILL
ME: but WHO is JILL?
ME: i think she is a girl...
ME: Man evn an illiterate cn tell that.. u alredy said she is a girl...
ME: not an illiterate mite noe... so i thot i mite clarify
ME: but if an illiterate mite nt noe it from the first line.. he/she will nt abl to read it here as were
ME: he/she will
ME: HOW???
ME: cos this is nt smthng i've written... its conversation
ME: but DUDE... its written conversation
ME: the illitrate's brother will read it to him/her
ME: in that case the illitrate's brother will read the first line as well!!!!
ME: well... ahhh... hmmm... i'll bribe him nt to read the first line and let illiterate guess who is JILL...
ME : so wot did the illitrate guess???
ME: he says JILL is insane...
ME: don't u think instaed U ARE insane...
ME : no... m JILL... n m feelin dull... gt me a coffee or beer NOW!!!!

n if u r readin this... i think evn u need alcohol...

Thursday, November 20, 2008

OMG

its 10:47 A.M. n believe me m ACTUALLY awake, thru wid my brkfst and wondering why the f**k <(though i knw therez no point addind those stars now... bt as long as the television in india uses the beep tone i thnk its my duty to use the stars... nd plus kids (who definitely knw more than i do) mite happen to read this!!! wotevr)> did i get up!!!! oh yeah... i had gotten up cos my roomate called up... she askd me to look thru balcony nd i abused her... she retorted by tellin that 3 of her car's tyres have been deflated... i HAD to jump off my bed... m expected to react this way... oh GOD wen wil i stop behaving as per expectations.. (LIAR i AM... ve actually done things m nt expected to do... bt i pretend i haven't ;) )

Its the fifth day of my prolonged boredom... n TRUST me it is contagious... so u mite gt infected as well.. the symptoms mite appear... u will strt watching indian NEWS CHANNELS... i did that... nd guess what... its replete with masala boredom doses to bore u further nd irritate u to the extent that u mite evn want to jump off ur balcony... i did not do it... u cn try if u want to... n then share ur experience with us....

the quest to entertain myself goes on ... and OFCOURSE the internet is my saviour... gmail.. facebook n orkut... ufffffff.. the tap's makin noises... paani aa gaya.. but m too lazy to get up to close it... ok i will try...

done... its 10:55 n m still nt makin sense to either myself or u... tell me if u understood the objective of this post... nd here comes the promo of "DESHDROHI' ... i feel a little life in me nw... hw much i adore this new star... GOD he is crazily handsome n m insanily in love with him... did i just say love??? errrrr..... m sorry, i cn't LOVE... i have lost all my senses of the shit called love... writing after 11 months n i still feel d way i did 11 months bak... m awake 4m a 11 mnth sleep i believe... my life turned 180 degrees but i took anothr 180 degree turn to make it a complete circle n m bak... (did i not say bak with a bang!!!)... ok so here i'm back with fulll of insanity n life n the hidden humor that only a very few of u mite understand... n if u do then pls tell it to me so that evn i cn appreciate it...

and the news channels r still blabberin... wot a breaking news "rakhi sawant ne kaha ki main toot gayi hun"... man i would murder for such a breaking news... ohhhh nw i got it.... its breaking cos its about a break up.... god these news channels actually do a wonderful job.... heres another one... "kya mahi sirf sitaron ki wajah se jeet rahe hain".... cricket n AB sell d most i think...
i even remebr the time wen aarushi murder case ws on.... some statistics said a particular new channel covered it for 65 hrs out of 90... i think the rest 25 were reserved for eithr cricket or AB (since big boss ws nt on air that time)... thnx to viewers lik me... hu love to stretch their boredom by watchin this stuff.... oh i love this channel... john on screen... shit even he is a gay... seems lik bhagwaan is on a strike... or is he mad at females??? y god y... y don't u produce good guys in ur factory... n the good ones that u produce r gays...

but why did i strt writin... ws on my daily job of surfin net... chkd a frns profile... saw he hs strtd writin... read his post... it ACTUALLY reeked of him... ws reminded of ten-thousand things.... did nt appreciate his effort... thot hw futile a piece of writing... and thot that evn i will try to produce smthng much mre futile.... so here i'm... n msure if u r still reading it... u r much more BORED than I AM...

Thursday, January 24, 2008

ABC of me

A
- Adorable, but not available.
- Age: Dare u ask it again...
- Animal: Dog... i hate humans i swear... at least dogs don't stink post bath...
- Anger: not really... its js dat i keep losing my temper... dats it...
- Alcohol: not really... i drink only on days ending in 'y'

B
-Birthday: September 21
-Believe in yourself?: tooooo much!
-Been in love: yup!
-Best weather: Windy... cloudy... sunny... snowy...
-Believe in miracles: Yes, i'm one of 'em!
-Believe in God: i told u i believe in myself... y ask the same thing again n agian...
-Believe in Santa:Yes... my dad is one

C
- Colour: Black.... Pink... Blue...
- Chocolate/Vanilla: chocolate... DARK, vanilla turned into dark chocolate will also do...!!!
- Coffee: apart from insanity... this is one thing m addicted to
- Chinese/Italian: Italian
- Cake or pie: can i've both please nd add lemon tart also... nd a coffee shake as well...
- Cooking: awesome cook... i specialize in bheja fry...

D
- Day or Night: nocturnal as dictionary puts it...
- Danced: only for DJs
- Dance in the rain?: yooooooo.... luv it....
- Drugs: marijuana... okay okay... if mom is readin this... its a lie

E
- Everyone has a: heartbreak.... n probably an underwear... 'mind the word "probably"'
- Eyes: 2/3/4/5 the number, size n color keeps changin dependin on situation

F
- Full name: Solve the puzzle urself...
- First crush: ws too young too remember the name...
- First thoughts waking up: 5 more mins pls... or may b 10.. or get out... i don wanna get up...

G
- Greatest Fear: Water... errr... cockroaches... errr
- Greatest Strenght: hmmmm... biceps... hahaha

H
- Hair Colour: brownish...no no greyinsh... wait wait... its whitish...
- Hate: him...

I
- Interests: self obsession... okay... shoutin.. slapping... screaming... sleeping... irritatin others....maddness... well the list is endless... oh n hw cn i forget blabbering...
- Insanity: uhhhhh... i have it in my veins... arteries... RBCs... WBCs... platelets... bone marrow... bile... insulin...keep addin.... i knw its all there in me..
- Impulsive: to the core...

J
- Job: Software associate... chuck it... i luv bein job less...

K
- Kids: love them... seriously...

L
- Letter: S
- Love: hmmmm... hmmmm... tryin to fall out of it... ...no no i've fallen again... tryin to move out again... no no probably not this time ufff m confused... in short it suckssss...

M
- Moron: heheeheeehheee... hahahahahaha... hohohooho...

N
- Naughty: hehehehehehe.... nopes... i just do things at times... no no m not naughty... seriously m not... trust me m not at all naughty... okay stp frownin now...
- Number of Siblings: 2

O
- One wish: To see my parents happy n proud... okie... to become a ghost nd scare every1 off :)

P
- Place: uhhh.. i wud like to see the entire globe... love travellin.. ne pilot interested? ;)
- Princess: uffff... m d one
- Prince: i kissed him nd he turned into frog...
- Pizza: nw don pull me into the foodie discussion... i love eating

Q
- Questionnaires: m lovin it...

R
- Reason to cry: hmmm... i don cry... okay i do...no i don't... donno...
- Reason to smile: many
- Reason to laugh: my laughter is contagious... so every time i laugh m again trapped by it.. so its a vicious circle u c..

S
- Shoe size: 4.5... tried all reebok, nike, addidas, fila, puma... all of them take me to their kids section :(
- Smoked?: Once... n nw a passive one...
- Sing well?: yes i do... nw don ask me to sing... i knw m good at it.. don b a judge...
- Single: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...... i think so... mom never told if i ws born in pieces... will confirm it from her
- Stuffed Animals?: ahaaaaa... too many of them... jus love them... m hooked to these animals... errrr.. no double meanings...

T
- TV: yeah... y not... spcly the K series... on serious notes love watchin POGO
- Tumbled upon: my day dusn't end without it :)
- Tatoo: i just hope mom is not reading this ;)... can't tell... she mite js read thru... mom i don ve one... belive me... **i'll kill the tatoo doer... so no1 will get to knw of it... huh**

U
Umbrella: yeah... with a vent to check whether its raining

V
Vanity: my life... as i said m obsessed with myself... wait r u talkin of the vanity kit... yeah i've it... its a cute one... rather i've two... wanna buy one???

W
Weakness: hmmm... generally i feel it all day long at work... strt feelin feverish as soon as work starts.

X
X-factor: oho.... its dere.. lemme think... loads of it... no no... thinkin... **falls asleep**

Y
Y-factor:
no no i wasn't sleepin... i ws still thinkin on the X part

Z
Zodiac sign:
virgo... virago :D